links & likes

If you're interested in staying up-to-date with the latest happenings at Mosoj Yan, you should check out the newly updated facebook page and blog [links below]! Also, the most recent posts are blurbs about the mosaic project I'm doing with the girls right now, so they're worth a look.

The Mosoj Yan Facebook Page

The Mosoj Yan Blog

You know you're on month four of HNGR when...

To give you a summary of how things have been lately (and in lieu of a recent email thread that was going between the HNGR women):

You know you're on month four of HNGR when... 

Your host tías (aunts) introduce you to someone as their niece and the person actually believes you're related, despite the blue eyes, pale skin, and freckles.

You start losing patience dealing with all the conflict between the girls at Albergue.

You get frustrated with  English more than with Spanish, for the way it limits your ability to express yourself.

You know it's going to be really hard to leave in just 2.5 months.

Someone tells you they love you.

One of the girls decides you are the culprit for all her problems, and gives you the silent treatment for two days.

You finally give up and agree with your tías that, yes, the reason that you don't want to eat 3,000 calories a day is because you do not want to get fat, and not just because your body does not have the capacity to eat so much.

When you're the only staff member on duty on a Saturday, you lose your temper at the girls, because they lie and don't take your authority seriously.

You're so busy doing things like interviews, teaching, HNGR homework, research, and peeling carrots that there's hardly any time to breathe.

Your to-do list is so long that you almost feel like you're back at Wheaton (though my hand has yet to revert to its notepad form).

You have to say goodbye to other people, but you're the one staying and they're the ones going.

Instant coffee actually seems pretty normal.

¿Por dónde vamos a ir?

"Where are we going to go?"

This is the question I am asked at the start of almost every walk we go on. My usual response is, "donde quieren" (wherever you want).

We pick a "theme" for the walk (of what we'll focus on taking pictures of), I point out things I think we should photograph, I give some hints about good composition, I rejoice with them over the beauty of the photos they've taken... and occasionally we have some "classroom time" to do more formal photo critiques.

Am I really teaching? Or am I just "facilitating?" Am I doing too little? I'm not really sure of the answers to these questions, but I do know that they are learning, that they are expressing themselves, and that it is freeing for them to walk and take pictures... So is that enough?

I've been learning a lot about myself through my time here. I've been learning that I don't want to be a teacher. Or a counselor. And I'm okay with that... but then how do I keep going? How do I stay motivated? I am feeling more than ever before the need to rely on the Lord's strength to get me through my days. And that is such a valuable lesson. I'm glad I'm here and I'm glad I'm doing what I'm doing, but I am impatient as well, to get onto things that I think I may be better equipped for, and that I may enjoy a bit more.

In other news, I made it to Cusco and back last week, and yesterday did a 12 hour hike up into the mountains that surround Cochabamba. Outdoors and friends are always a good respite from the cotidiano of life, though generally such things are few and far between, and who knows how many more chances I'll get like these ones.

Pray that the Lord's strength would continue to guide me through my days, and that I would find support and community in these next three months, wherever I may go.

culture, violence, creativity

This past week, I have said goodbye to a friend, translated a personal hygiene/gynecology workshop, eaten in a classy German-Bolivian home, worshiped at a wonderful church, visited an art exhibit, done some homework at my favorite coffee shop, and (of course) gone on many photo walks. There is a rhythm to things, but there is also constant change--new people, new circumstances, new expectations.

out on a photo walk [early July]

 





 

I've caught myself feeling pressure from who-knows-where quite frequently over the past few weeks. In part I think it is because of my large and looming independent study project (ISP) which, while I am very excited about it, seems a little daunting at this point. I'm doing an ethnographic study of the intersection of culture, violence, and creativity, which will involve teaching and talking to the girls at Albergue about their art, going to art exhibits/arts-related events, and interviewing artists, cultural directors, and art teachers. I am slowly figuring out how to break into the "art world" and am beginning to process how it is that my students perceive beauty and exercise creative agency, but I am still left a little overwhelmed and confused about the whole thing right now.

At the same time, as I put all this pressure on myself I am reminded that I by no means am doing this by my own power. Walking with God means acknowledging His power that works through me. It means allowing His peace to be bigger than my problems. It means I am dependent. Yet again, I am re-learning this very simple yet so very challenging lesson.

The covenant that the other interns and I wrote reminds me of this beautiful dependency each day:

Lord, like Peter, we are a people who,

Seeing You before us, step out into the waves.

Acknowledging our fearfulness, we trust that You meet us.

With Your strong and steady hand,

You hold us in the storm.

And when we sink from the weight of fear and doubt

We reach for You, knowing that You save us.

Upheld by your strength, we commit to

Listen to the unheard voices and know them by name,

Love our neighbor out of the love that You have shown us,

Anchor ourselves in hope in the midst of injustice,

Pray for the people with whom we walk,

And give thanks in all circumstances.

Lord, weave us into your story.

Help us;

hold us.

La Marcha

Last Friday, Mosoj Yan participated in "La Marcha contra El Abuso Sexual" (March against Sexual Abuse), along with dozens of other organizations in Cochabamba. It was such a gift to see all these organizations coming together to raise awareness, and to march alongside the girls in their protest.

persistencia

Coroico with Dr. Folch

Last week was both a highlight and in some ways a turning point of my time here in Bolivia, thanks to a visit from one of my favorite Wheaton profs. It was a refreshing, conversation- and adventure-filled time, and has given me a new outlook on many things. In particular in our conversations, I was able to re-think my photography project, what works, what doesn't, and what can be improved--I was finding that classroom lecture/discussion wasn't working, but that "photo walks" were. Almost every day, I go out walking with 2 or 3 of the girls at Albergue to let them take photos of whatever they like, and each walk is filled with moments of pride and excitement as the girls take photos of dogs, flowers, graffiti, trash, etc. and then get to show them off. I hadn't really thought much of these walks because they weren't fitting into the structure of my class curriculum, but now I am seeing more how I can use these walks as my main teaching tool--and how they have already been doing so much good.

For one thing, these walks mean I am not forcing creativity in the classroom, and for another, it means I can teach good composition experientially through the photos that they themselves are taking. After each walk, I sit down with the girls and go through their photos with them on my laptop, and we discuss which photos they like or find interesting or strange, and then I pick out my favorites as well and say what I like about them. I've already sensed a lot more learning going on in the past week than in the whole first month. Praise the Lord for answered prayers! Also, considering that one of my learning objectives at the start was for them to be empowered through this project, I would say the freedom that they have in these photo walks, which they don't have much of anywhere else, is indeed a significant thing. I am so grateful that I am now seeing this more for what it is.

Some other things that have been on my mind lately:

This quote

“Those who love their dream of Christian community more than the Christian community itself become destroyers of that Christian community even though their personal intentions may be ever so honest, earnest, and sacrificial.”

-Bonheoffer, Life Together

This painting (Persistencia, Fernando Montes)

This hymn

“O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.
...
O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.”

-George Matheson

El Chapare

Here's a few photos from Albergue's mini-vacation a couple weeks ago to El Chapare. Jungle-hiking, monkeys, swimming, waterfalls, picture-taking, and lots of yummy Bolivian food and beautiful mountain views along the way.

Apologies that I haven't posted lately. Things have gotten very busy--and also a lot more challenging. I am still struggling to figure out what my role is at Albergue, I am frustrated that relationships haven't developed more at this point, and I am unsure how to teach photography to unwilling students.

Here's a snippet from my most recent assessment letter regarding the photography project:

My thoughts in regards to this feel kind of ethnocentric and I am still sorting through them, so bear with me. In various conversations lately, I've been learning that in the Bolivian school system—and to some extent in Bolivian culture in general—creativity and critical thinking are painfully absent. Everything is rote memorization and regurgitation of information. It is no wonder, therefore, that I get blank stares when I am explaining an open-ended portraiture assignment. It grieves me that creativity could be so absent from an entire culture, while it also makes me want to teach it well all the more. The question still remains as to how I should go about doing that, because to force creativity is essentially oxymoronic.

Please pray for inspiration in teaching; for God to work through and strengthen relationships with the girls; and for grace and rest amidst the busyness and ambiguity of this season. 

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." -2 Corinthians 4:8-9